Chill Creative Flow With Jeff Gandell
For a joyful, low-drama approach to creativity, Jeff Gandell is your person. Jeff Gandell is an icon in the Montréal storytelling and performance community. He has written, directed, produced, and starred in a number of glittering fringe shows including Things Drugs Taught Me (co-created with Nisha Coleman), and The Balding, a coming-of-age-story about the race to lose your virginity before you lose your hair. For six years, Jeff ran the adored storytelling show Yarn at the Cagibi, may it rest in peace. He has offered countless storytelling workshops and has been a pivotal guide and mentor for all kinds of storytellers, including me. These days, he is channelling his creative energy into writing and singing songs. So far, he has produced two albums—Cold Chicken N Rice and this past summer, Only Human, a reappraisal of what it means to be mortal in an age of too many robots. Jeff also has one child with another one coming soon. What a thrill to have Jeff on the show.
What You’ll Learn From Jeff Gandell
Did Jeff lose his virginity before his hair? Erica and Jeff talk hair loss, ageing, and how most haircuts are actually good news.
Jeff’s tips on how to be a Chill Type of Person Who Goes With the Flow. Therapy helps. So does knowing you are going to die.
How did Jeff start writing stories? A shout-out to Jeff’s grade 3 teacher Mrs. Lezar. Plus a blast from the past, courtesy of Grownups Read Things They Wrote As Kids. (Check out Jeff’s avant-garde, 10-year-old take on Alice in Wonderland in Episode 612.)
How does Jeff allow his creativity to unfold organically? From writing stories to performing Fringe shows to composing songs on his guitar, he’s always ready for his next thing. And it’s never forced.
What did Jeff do in the face of a terrible singing teacher? And how he overcame unkind, unproductive feedback.
Listener Question from “She Deserves So Much Better:” Our letter writer is deeply concerned about her cousin who keeps going back to her problematic boyfriend. Jeff and Erica really can’t fix this one, but we do our best. And Erica adds some wisdom from Oprah’s life coach Martha Beck who you can hear on Episode 253 of We Can Do Hard Things.
How to Stay Creative After Kids: Jeff’s creative morning routine is aspirational.
How to Keep Your House Clean After Kids: Jeff’s looking to outsource parts of his cleaning routine if anyone knows of an excellent cleaner.
I’m Turning Into a Question Mark: For this extra special ukulele segment, we have an original song by Jeff Gandell, with Jeff on guitar as an added treat. I loved it!
For more on Jeff’s music and albums, check out his website at jeffgandell.com. You can also follow him on Instagram @jeffgandell.
Mixing, Ukulele, and Cover Art by Erica J. Schmidt in Montréal, Quebec.
Follow Erica on Facebook or Instagram or check out her website at ericajschmidt.com. You can also make her day by sending her a listener question to any of these places.
Jeff Gandell’s Story, If I Were in the Book Alice in Wonderland Instead of Alice
First of all, my name would be Guido. Guido Motz. But who needs a last name? So I’m following a late rabbit. Sure, how possible. Let’s make it a dead ugly zombie. No, I know. I’m following a girl in a string bikini. Better. So, I fell down a hole. It could happen. It’s happened to me before. But I didn’t die. I was just unconscious. But just for a little while. Oh, so, what happens next. I eat an eat me sign. I’m hungry. Leave me alone. Then I’m tiny. This is confusing. Change it around. I ate steak and puked. That’s bad. But better. Right, okay, now I’m in Wonderland. I’d rather be in Disneyland. Too bad. Shucks. Now I’m as confused as a turtle in the desert. I find a caterpillar. I hate caterpillars so I step on it. Wait a second, my watch stopped. So, I’ll wind it. Not a problem. Anyway, I’m just running through Wonderland. I trip. Ow. I see this cat who can disappear and you can see his teeth. I’m amazed. They aint got that in Montreal. I think I’ll sigh. (Sigh) That feels-off with his head. Hey Guido. Look at me when I’m talking to you. Oh you, I says. Hi, how’s your plumbing? This is getting so confusing. I think I’ll zap her with my super duper gun. Yah, that’s the ticket. Well, my toilet keeps overflowing but Mrs. Hearts. I gotta go to the bathroom, says me, I mean so badly. Wow, I’m in pain. To be continued because I have nothing else to write.
Listener Question From “She Deserves So Much Better”
Dear Erica (and Jeff),
My cousin can’t stop going back to her shitty problematic ex. My cousin is like a best friend and sister to me, and I’m worried about her. For the past seven years, she has been up and down and on and off with a dude I’m pretty sure is emotionally and verbally abusive. Her therapist has used the word and his behaviour scores 5/5 on most Internet lists.
I don’t remember her ever seeming that solid and happy with this dude but he seems to have this magnetic pull on her. They‘ll have these volatile blowouts and then a few days to a few weeks later, they’ll go back to this soothing honeymoon phase. Meanwhile, this guy totally takes her for granted. He criticizes, shames, and belittles her. During conflicts, he manipulates every situation so she takes a disproportionate amount of responsibility. For years, when she suggested therapy, he would scoff at her concerns, gaslighting every feeling. Their saga seems to escalate and often my cousin seems deeply distressed and physically unwell at the conflict.
Recently, they had their longest breakup yet. She had even started to see someone else. But all of a sudden, her ex banged at her door in the middle of the night, sobbing and promising to change. Seven years later, he has read two self-help books and started to go to the gym. Somehow, this is enough and she’s back with him. She argues that he isn’t abusive, that finally he is willing to go to couples therapy. That she also plays a role in their toxic dynamic, which she claims they are finally healing. I worry that they are doomed to stay stuck in the same cycle. I don’t believe people can change like this and I think her ex is just making a grand gesture because he doesn’t want to lose her forever. I love my cousin and hate to watch her stuck in this vortex of suffering. What should I do?
Love,
She deserves so much better
Thank you to Taes Leavitt (darling big sister, Big Heart Journey), Sherwin Tjia (technical and creative advisor, Sherwin’s Quirky Events), and my dearly departed aunt Eileen Gun, whose generous gift helped to fund my new podcast equipment. Thank you so much for listening! Stay tuned for more episodes extra soon. Don’t forget to follow This Is Your Strange and Beautiful Life on your favourite podcast platform. And if you enjoyed the episode, I would be immensely grateful if you could share it with a friend and/or leave a kind and enthusiastic rating and review.
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